Good At Being Bad

Bully2How did we get so good at doing stupid, angry, driven, fearful and all the other dysfunctional behaviors that we sometimes or oftentimes exhibit?  The process for becoming the best at dysfunction is the same as becoming the best at anything else – guitar player, public speaker, Mom, counselor, bricklayer or athlete.

I know a guy who says he doesn’t want to participate in anything unless he can do it well.  Doesn’t that sound like a “Catch 22”?  He can’t do something well until he participates in the skill for a long time, but he won’t participate because he can’t do it well right away.  Suffice it to say, he doesn’t try out new skills very often. Continue reading

Money, Greed, and Envy




When I say the word, “Money”, what comes to mind?

Here are some of the typical answers:

  • Money is the root of all evil.
  • Money causes the most strife within a marriage.
  • People who want more money have to take advantage of others in order to climb the corporate ladder.
  • You can’t take it with you when you die.
  • Money makes people think they are better than everyone else.

Now, if I ask someone what they would do if they won a $100 million lottery, their answers would often look like this:

  • I would help my family get on their feet.
  • I would invest in a Green energy business.
  • I would donate money to non-profits that support my values.
  • I would start a start a scholarship program for poor kids to go to college.
  • I might buy a new car for myself.

You see – in response to the first question, the person is talking about how money affects other people and in response to the second, they are talking about themselves. So, the fact of the matter is that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with money.  The end result of having money depends on the character of the person who has it.  Money doesn’t create bad character, but it will exhibit bad character when it is present.  Continue reading